Sometimes… in our life we tend to feel like there's no one could really understand what we want and what we feel but in order to survive, we need to endure it alone. I love to write because it is the only place I could tell everything about my feeling without having a fear of being judge. With writing I can be somebody else. I'm able to express my feelings in a real tone. if you ask me what I feel when im angry I cannot really find the word to express my feelings because I don't know but I feel it is so hard. But when I comes to writing, I can be possibly wild and careless about anyone because people will not know what I feel if they dont read but if I talk, everyone will be able to hear even when they dont want to listen.
I used to have this huge anxiety in me, if I feel so burdened with my own self because it feels so extremely hard to breath when everything you do, you afraid to speak for what you feel. why ? because you afraid of what people say about you. You afraid they think bad about you. I used to be this little girl since seecondary and in my early freshman year. I'm afraid to tell people what I actually feel and it was really irritated. I am so clueless. The worst thing about being the person I used to be is that I need to hide it that I am tired of pretending that I was okay with everything. I am rebellious person and I admit that. I am rebelling in my own self, in my inner side but I act like I'm okay with everything outside. That is why I call myself the best secret keeper in the world ever.
But there is something I couldn't keep as a secret. I am a short-tempered woman. I cannot stand it when you step on my head and not saying sorry or ignoring me as a human being. What im trying to say is that, I cannot hide my expression when im angry but I cannot find the exact word to be mad at you but you will know I was angry at that time. Yeah I'm that weird.
I have so many friends and I have my family but still I really love to write and read. I got tons of book in my shelf and I never get bored even if I have to read it the second time or more still I love to read it again because everytime I reread a book I gain a new perspective about something and that was a good thing for me I'm sure.
My boyfriend loves to read book too and I think that he's able to understand me easily. When I read, I forgot that I was sharing the world with other people too. Reading makes me feel alive and escape for a moment.
Simply I want to say, I love everything related to book and writing. So I wrote my first post just to clear my purpose why I write and after this there will be more story about me and a story that I have experienced and I know will be an inspirational story for whom it reach soon. This is simply about God, me, Rex, my family and friends. Thank you for reading my post. Love ya all.